Transportation Security Administration

3rd Circuit

Non-Sequiturs: 12.30.13

* You can go to jail for possession, but if you actively aid and abet drug cartels, you can walk away with a fine worth 5 weeks of your income. It also helps if instead of “poor” you’re a bank. Hooray for “Too Big To Hold Accountable For Anything!!! [Rolling Stone] * Disney has gotten fed up with “mockbusters,” films that jack the studio’s logo to confuse people into buying a different DVD. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve been itching to check out this new flick September: Osage County. [Jezebel] * Dahlia Lithwick explains that too many schools feel the cure for the trauma of school shootings is… creating more trauma. [Slate] * Chief Judge Theodore McKee of the Third Circuit rules that the government can detain you for carrying Arabic flashcards. This doesn’t even make racist profiling sense: “bad guys” would already know how to speak Arabic, right? [The Raw Story] * Defendants need to understand that getting an acquittal requires them to expend some personal effort, too. [Katz Justice]

By Joe Patrice
Airplanes / Aviation

Non-Sequiturs: 10.17.12

* New York police just arrested a man for allegedly planning to blow up the Federal Reserve Bank. Thank you, officers. [CNN] * This judge made a telecom executive cry in court. After the teary-eyed businesswoman stormed out, she re-entered the courtroom a short time later and "verbally assaulted" opposing counsel. That’s what I call a serious case of the Mondays. [New York Post] * Much has been made about the terrible connections prostitution has to human trafficking, but what about the self-professed “hos” who, by all accounts, enjoy having sex for money? [East Bay Express] * If you want to ride a mechanical bull, you should probably be aware that getting thrown off isn’t even a risk, it’s a veritable certainty. [Abnormal Use] * I unabashedly dislike the TSA, but it seems these dummies had it coming. [Denver Post] * Back to hating on the airline industry: Sorry, folks, we’re going to be delayed arriving in Vancouver because of some weather issues… and because we have to detour for a moment and search for a missing yacht.” [Consumerist] * Law blogger Eric Turkewitz’s face is all over a bunch of New York bus stop ads. And no, he’s not advertising himself. This story is actually pretty neat. [New York Personal Injury Attorney]

By Christopher Danzig
Airplanes / Aviation

Non-Sequiturs: 08.02.12

* Last year, the TSA was supposed to hold public hearings about those naked body scanners everyone loves so much, but they still haven’t done it (surprise, surprise). Now the D.C. Circuit is starting to get angry. [Wired / Threat Level] * Is there really life, hope, and maybe even an associate position beyond doc review work? This writer thinks so. [Greedy Associates] * Remember the man convicted of murder who claimed that “celebrity angels and demons” told him to do it? His mistress and coworker of has now been arrested and charged as well. [AJC] * This is a comic strip about a bear who also happens to be a lawyer. It is silly but also surprisingly clever, and funny jokes abound. [Bear Lawyer] * Apple fired back at John Quinn regarding his declaration in the Apple / Samsung trial, and then the company filed “an emergency motion for sanctions” with Judge Lucy Koh. I think everyone in this case needs to take a timeout and cool their jets for a while. [Bloomberg] * I mean, the trial is so hostile, the parties can’t even agree on the name of the case. [All Things D] * Who murdered Robert Wone? The mystery looms as large today as it did six years ago. [Who Murdered Robert Wone] * Holy s**t, this is like a real-life, Chinese version of “I’m Oscar! Dot com!” [Slate]

By Christopher Danzig
Airplanes / Aviation

Morning Docket: 04.26.12

* Dewey need to take a look at the Biglaw industry in general before more firms implode? Hell yes, says an author who’s written on the economics and management of law firms. [DealBook / New York Times] * Wal-Mart was served with its first shareholder suit over its alleged bribery scandal, because the only thing on rollback this week is the price of the company’s stock shares. [Reuters] * Does diplomatic immunity give you a free pass for getting handsy with the maid? Guess we’ll see next week, when a judge rules on DSK’s motion to dismiss his civil suit. [New York Daily News] * As long as you’ve got money, the TSA will totally look the other way if you’ve got suitcases filled with drugs. Vibrators, on the other hand, are simply out of the question. [Bloomberg] * As of yesterday, Connecticut became the seventeenth state to kill the death penalty. But not so fast, death row inmates. You still get to die. Isn’t that nice? [CNN] * Franchise agreements be damned, because even judges can understand that sometimes, you just need to eat a delicious sandwich while you’re getting a lap dance. [KTVN]

By Staci Zaretsky
Airplanes / Aviation

Non-Sequiturs: 01.19.12

* Dressing shrinks as wizards when they testify would be an AWESOME idea. I’m serious. Why can’t we have this? And titles, too. “Your Honor, I call Dr. Freud — Ph.D in weakness management and keeper of the sacred staffs of Ivory guard — to the stand.” [Overlawyered] * iTextbooks! Could be awesome, could widen […]

By Elie Mystal
Accounting / Accountants

Non-Sequiturs: 12.21.11

* A Pennsylvania appeals court ruled that selling sex for Phillies tickets doesn’t make you a prostitute. She was already a Phillies fan, so calling her a whore was redundant. [Legal Blog Watch] * Occupy Wall Street is looking for a few good accountants. Man, they are about six months from telling us that some […]

By David Lat & Elie Mystal
Airplanes / Aviation

Brit Twit’s Sense of Humor Does Not Appeal

This morning, the Senate had a TSA oversight hearing to discuss serious issues around secure air travel, notably the use of see-through-your-clothes scanners and aggressive “crotchal area” patdowns. A highlight was the TSA head offering any of the senators that wanted one a sample patdown to experience it for themselves. No happy ending guaranteed. For […]

By Kashmir Hill